Velvet, but Far from Soft

Spoiler-free Content

Here's a film that is as refreshingly different from its contemporaries as Bollywood allows one to be. Directed by Anurag Kashyap, Bombay Velvet is the crowning of his artistic vision, his magnum opus, a film that's been in the works for close to a decade and also the one on which he's bet the biggest in terms of scale and budget.

The film's first quarter is probably its worst, but also its most necessary. The plot is driven forward a little too hurriedly and the film falls prey to a couple of Bollywood's favorite tropes -- the immigrant mother who solicits herself to feed her son, and the prodigy who was sexually abused as a child and escapes to the city after ridding herself of her captor only to be taken advantage of again. But these developments, one quickly following another, set the canvas for the rest of the film to then fill out. Rosie's arc in particular informs us on why her character later seems to find little joy in singing. And while many have been quick to blame Anushka Sharma for Rosie's lack of pizzazz on stage, I thought this was deliberate on Anushka's part and definitely not something she failed to pull off. The fact that Rosie is easily and often distracted during her performances reiterates this.

Many have noted Scorsese's seminal works as the film's inspirations, but perhaps a better comparison would be Baz Luhrrman's Gatsby. Both are a commentary on the social classes that money or lack thereof creates, and depict the familiar struggle between old money and new. And both will probably be remembered more for their rich visuals than for their story.

Ranbir Kapoor effectively captures the angst and hunger of a street rat, constantly struggling to rise above what society deems him worthy of. There are decent performances from the rest of the supporting cast as well, but nothing that they're likely to showcase as the highlight of their career. With one exception.

The absolute revelation of Bombay Velvet is Karan Johar. In him, Kashyap finds someone who is not only perfect for the part of the genteel Kaizad Khambatta but is also a blue-blooded Bombay thorough-bred, who understands the city's elite like few others. Be it while commenting on the sartorial choices of Johnny and Rosie or while sneaking out of the room only to let himself giggle freely at Johnny's interpretation of tender, Johar plays his character with glitzy aplomb.

Amit Trivedi's score feels completely right for the film, and sets the tone beautifully throughout. Fifi, another wonderful remix by Mikey McCleary, certainly warrants a few more listens after you've seen the movie. The film's most euphoric moment for me was when Johnny comes out all Tommy guns blazing, with Trivedi's rendition of Whiplash blaring in the background.

All in all, Bombay Velvet is a momentous film for Bollywood. While not as visceral as some of Kashyap's earlier work, Velvet sets a benchmark for period dramas and neat, understated acting. This is definitely not a film that I would ever regret watching in the theater, and one that you should at least watch for yourself before deciding whether you like it or not.

A word of caution

In the off-chance that you're pumped about watching the movie after reading my review, here's a disclaimer -- going into a movie like this expecting to have your mind blown is probably the quickest way to ruin it for yourself.

Even as I write this, Bombay Velvet has been labeled disappointing by fans and critics alike for a reason best explained here - On Bombay Velvet: How internet is killing the movie and the curse of being Anurag Kashyap. I can understand that the film isn't for everyone but an audience that doesn't let cinema like this breathe and reap at least some of what it has sown in terms of expenditures, later has little right to complain about the ennui brought about by Bollywood's usual trite fare.

So, go in with qualified expectations, sit tight as the plot unfurls and then let yourself be wooed by the cinematic experience that the film is. This is certainly not a film to be missed altogether or seen through torrents.

Spoiler-filled observations

• I loved how real Johnny's reaction to Rosie's photo was. The photo was far from scandalous, and I was glad that Johnny too saw it as such. It would have been a letdown if the film's climax hinged on him being outraged by something so clearly vanilla.
• Once it was established that Johnny's skirmishes in the steel cage are to satisfy his masochistic tendencies, Kashyap could have skipped one bout or two, especially since they're all between the same two fighters.
• Why Rosie comes back to attend her pseudo-funeral is beyond me.
• The scene where Khambatta shoots Rosie was gold.
• The intended meta scene was where Glitz refers to Khambatta as a fruitcake. But KJo's presence has a slightly detrimental effect on the denouement of the film as him gasping while Johnny "stabs" him makes it look as though the two are engaging in some coitus, albeit it from the front.
• While the commissioner shooting Johnny in the end and saving Mayor Quizmaster's reputation in the process was probably a natural culmination for the film, I couldn't help but wish for a happier ending. But meh, this is a minor gripe courtesy the romantic in me.

Of Space, Time and Pizza

[Spoilers ahead]
Interstellar is certainly brave if nothing else. Spanning multiple galaxies and time zones (I know this term is probably incorrect, you geeks), the movie is a beautiful experience for at least the first 2 hours of its run-time.

The Good

• TARS – This robot, thanks to his dry humor, was at once amiable and certainly held his own in a film with a solid cast all around. Special mention to TARS' form which was functional and unlike anything I have seen before, yet aesthetically pleasing.
• Time Dilation – If there was one scientific concept whose use the movie absolutely nailed, it was this! Key to the the plot, time dilation served to heighten the drama and elicit gut-wrenching emotion on several occasions. We feel Cooper's joy turn to pain as he watches how his son has been sending out hopeful messages out into space all these years.
• Matt Damon's entry – I and, judging by the collective gasps in the theater, most people watching had no idea that Damon was in the film. There was good drama on both the planets that Cooper and Brand visit, but Mann's world really took the cake. The half an hour or so that he was in the film were edge-of-the-seat stuff, and Damon was the perfect choice to play the Mannipulative pioneer. BTW, when Damon comes out of cryosleep, did anyone else mistake him for Philip Seymour Hoffman?
• Despite the terrible pacing that leads up to this scene, I loved Cooper's reunion with Murph. Her line about knowing Cooper would be back because of his promise as a father is a genuinely sweet moment and reassurance that Interstellar is a film with its heart in the right place.
• Visuals and acting, obviously. The film was also peppered with some nice dialogue and crisp, funny one-liners throughout.

The Bad

• For weeks, we heard about how the visuals in the movie aren't typical artistic fare but rather the results of complex, scientific calculations that took hours of computing time to render; we read The Physics Refresher You Need To Read To Understand 'Interstellar', and saw Kip Thorne tell us about research papers that will be written based on everything that was learnt in the development of this magnum opus. And while that is commendable in terms of breaking new ground, for an average moviegoer like me, it really does not matter. Gargantua, for all of its scientific accuracy, is at the end of the day, just a black hole that is supposed to suck everything in its vicinity into its unforgiving, gluttonous self. Why this is bad is at several times, it felt as though the film wanted me to care about its amazing complexity rather than its story, but I didn't.
• The first couple of minutes that Cooper, after passing through Gargantua's wormhole, spends in the limbo(?) overlooking his daughter's bookshelf were amazing! But that feeling of "OMG! It was him all along" was quickly replaced by wariness as Cooper passes on complex, esoteric information in Morse before the film fast forwards to Murph's Eureka moment. For a film that had real potential to generate an emotional reaction, Interstellar let its magic be diluted by its half-baked scientific expositions and hurried pace in the last quarter.
• For all its technological brilliance, Cooperspace (or whatever that futuristic NASA colony orbiting Saturn was called) seems to have an improbably lax security system, judging by how easily Cooper sauntered into wherever the spaceships are kept and escaped in one of them. I mean c'mon man! Even stealing a car from a parking lot has to be more difficult than that. Just because my brain was a little tired by then doesn't mean you try to slip that past me.
• The all conquering power of love – This theory, that love guides us in a manner that transcends space and time, could have been beautiful had it been made more tacit, but in the way it was oft-repeated by its characters, the message seemed rather forced and unintuitive.

The Incomprehensible

• A lot of the dialogue in the beginning was difficult to understand. McConaughey's slick, Texan drawl is easy on the ears but more than a little tedious to process at times. Kudos to Jessica Chastain for deciphering not just Cooper's codes but also what Michael Caine was saying on his deathbed.

In conclusion, I would like to say that for me, the film was like having a large Pizza all by myself, all at once – there is enough good in there while I'm eating it, but when I'm done, I feel more stuffed and tired than happy and content. Metaphors aside, Interstellar is a movie that you may or may not love but definitely one that you should watch.

This Will Make Your Blood Freeze

Disclaimer: I practically know nothing about Hamlet or the actual situation in Kashmir circa 1995. This review contains spoilers.

Seductively dark and refreshingly edgy, Haider will definitely evoke sharp reactions from whoever watches it. The film itself is nuanced in its portrayal of sensitive topics; taking sides and drawing conclusions, it seems, is left to the viewers.

To watch or not to watch? That is the question

The movie opens in 1995 Kashmir with a militant being brought to Dr. Hilal Meer's home for a surgery. Alarmed by who her husband is treating, Ghazala (Tabu) questions his loyalty and in doing so, asks the audience to ponder over whether people should just go about doing their duty without worrying about its consequences. The ingenuous doctor makes his allegiance clear as he responds to her accusation by saying that the only side he is on is that of life. The army/police however believe otherwise, and on being tipped off about the location of the militant, smoke the doctor's home with a bazooka and make the doctor "disappear" for being an accomplice to militants.

Enter Haider (Shahid Kapoor). Distraught at seeing his dilapidated home, Haider goes to seek comfort in his mother (Ghazala) but is shocked to see her in what he deems to be a compromising state with her brother-in-law Khurram (Kay Kay Menon). Haider struggles desperately to find his father but without any reward. In the meantime, both Ghazala and Khurram explain themselves to Haider and assuage him for the moment. Flashbacks offer us insights into Haider's relationship with his parents and raise a few eyebrows vis-a-vis his relationship with his mother. Back in 1995, Haider chastises Ghazala for regularly using emotional blackmail to get him to do what she wanted, pointing back to how she sent him away from Kashmir and consequently from his father. Ghazala's angst, as she is unfairly blamed by her son, is palpable and reminiscent of another famous fictional mother - Carmela Soprano, reflecting on her travails with Meadow.

Hope for Haider arrives in the form of the sibylline Roohdaar (Irrfan Khan) who reaches out with a message from the doctor. Subsequently, two contrasting versions of what happened to Haider's father are laid out. Here, the film is at its strongest, as both Haider and the audience are apprehensive about who to believe - Roohdaar's separatist agenda, and Khurram's love for Ghazala provide sufficient reason to doubt both tales. All doubts are vanquished for Haider however, when Khurram decides to marry Ghazala. For me, the film's quintessential moment of chutzpah was when Khurram, after having slept with Ghazala the previous night, addresses her in the morning as Bhabhijaan.

Elsewhere, "Pruncess" Arshi is almost a seraphic presence in Haider's life as she first saves, then helps and later, calms him.

"You remind me of my mother"

Shraddha Kapoor's beautiful bare back and goofy yet cute dance moves notwithstanding, the song could have easily been replaced with a shorter love scene that conveyed the same message. The film faltered in pace a little here but it promptly got back on track with "Bismil".

Subsequently the film marches along confidently as each character does what they believe they must to protect or avenge their loved ones. The deaths of Arshi and her brother drive home the point that in every conflict, it is invariably innocents who get caught in the crossfire.

• Characters - Everyone in the film is right according to their personal code of ethics, and their enmity arises and is aggravated by the situation that they find themselves in. Haider's mania even raises doubts about whether his hate for Khurram is driven solely by the need to avenge his father, or also by jealousy at seeing him with Ghazala, as the film hints at the Oedipus Complex. Khurram, for all his shortcomings, redeemed himself in my book when he ran towards and not away from Ghazala on realizing she was going to blow herself up. A proverbial doff-of-the-hat or rather, jiggle-of-the-belt is due for the three Salmans for providing some welcome comic relief.
• Acting - Top notch! Tabu probably plays the movie's most nuanced character as she constantly tries to keep her world from falling apart, and she is brilliant in all her scenes. Shahid is outright scary post-interval. His deranged soliloquies make for some of the film's most edgy scenes. Irrfan Khan once again excels in his eccentricities and keeps you wanting more. Kay Kay Menon and Shraddha Kapoor too slipped into their characters with ease. Kudos to Tabu and Shraddha Kapoor for nailing that funny English accent if at all that is how it is (or used to be) spoken in Kashmir.
• Cinematography and Direction - Kashmir provides a hauntingly beautiful backdrop to all the drama and bloodshed that unfolds and stains its pure white snow. A blood-covered boy waking up in the middle of a truck full of corpses and revelling in his freedom after escaping was a surprisingly good scene. The "Bismil" martial arts routine is extremely well-choreographed and steadily builds up the tension with Gulzar's lyrics eloquently dramatizing Haider's account of events. The scenes with the Graveyard Guys give you goosebumps and their version of "Aao na" in the film is every bit as awesome as Vishal Dadlani's version in the trailer.

Haider deserves accolades for steering clear of the temptation to be preachy despite the material providing ample opportunity to do so. Its strongest rhetoric perhaps comes against revenge as the film released on Gandhi Jayanti aptly echoes the aphorism that "an eye for an eye will only make the world go blind."

So just watch it, there is no question.

Logic waalo, Tumhari Aisi ki Taisi

Title - Dhoom: 3
Direction and Screenplay - Vijay Krishna Acharya
Producer and Story - Aditya Chopra
Starring - Abhishek Bachchan ("Dhoom is my film and I am the hero"), Aamir Khan, Katrina Kaif, Uday Chopra, Katrina Kaif, Jackie Shroff, Siddharth Nigam
Music - Pritam
Released on - 20 December 2013

Note: Read this review only if you have contributed to the box office record smashing run that Dhoom 3 is on. Or if you do not care about the story.

The film begins in the year 1990 with Iqbal Khan (Jackie Shroff) welcoming you and the bankers whose loan he is defaulting on, to a special show of the Great Indian Circus - home to a never-before-seen magic trick. This magic trick has in fact had an entire movie dedicated to it previously.

An apathetic Mr. Andersen who helms the Western Bank of Chicago rejects Khan's plea to let his show continue and decides to shut the theatre down due to its insolvency. Crestfallen, Khan shoots himself leaving his son Sahir (debutant kiddo Siddharth Nigam) to fend for himself.

Years later, Sahir (now Aamir Khan) has made it his life's driving purpose to ruin the bank that drove his father to suicide by simply doing their job. Like several of his brothers in the hip-hop industry, Sahir makes money rain from the sky and runs down the bank in ultra slow motion with a strange horny expression on his face. He then proceeds to ride his impeccably engineered and well advertised BMW bike, and evades the cops with ease. Having reached the limits of their ability, the Chicago police authorities decide to ring in Supercop Jay (Abhishek Bachchan) and Sidekick Ali (Uday Chopra).

I'm on fire even if my acting career isn't

The first tinge of real emotion that the movie manages to evoke is courtesy Ali's typically comical entry. The feeling of joy however is evanescent as the movie wastes precious time on the improbable task of trying to make Abhishek Bachchan look cool. Ali's monologue to buy himself some time reeks of dialogues that were probably meant to elicit some applause from the director's contorted perception of the Aam Aadmi. When Jai does finally arrive, he does so in all his overacting splendour and performs comical, gravity defying stunts in full Rohit Shetty ishtyle. These scenes illustrate why some things are best left to Salman Khan, although I must admit that Bachchan Jr looks more at home in an auto rickshaw than on a superbike.

The duo are ushered into Chicago by Police Officer Victoria (Tabrett Bethell) who is completely inconsequential to the plot barring her leading role in Ali's erotic fantasies. Soon after, Aaliya (Katrina Kaif) treats us to a titillating 5 minutes of seductive striptease interspersed with some acrobatic dance moves that helps her land the role of Asian Goddess who can sing and dance like water and fire hot trapeze artist in Sahir's circus.

I'm sexy and I know it

The whole sequence involving Supercop Jai taunting Sahir into robbing again and Sahir posing as an informant who would help Jai find his 'Chupchap Charlie' makes both characters seem incredibly naive. Anyway, Sahir robs the bank successfully and gets shot in the ensuing pursuit but manages to escape with assistance from his BMW superbike/speedboat. The only reason I was able to suspend my disbelief through this scene was due to the fact that I had seen Dubai's wonderbus earlier in the day. The same night, Sahir opens The Great Indian Circus - now revamped and larger than ever before as his highlighted by this song that they spent Rs. 5 crore on.

Immediately after the show, Supercop Jai confronts Sahir backstage in an attempt to expose him as the thief but the lack of any sign of a bullet injury on Sahir lets him off the hook much to the chagrin of Jai who is once again in his overacting prime. It is here that the major plot twist of the film is revealed. The person shot was actually Sahir's identical twin Samar whose existence is a secret hidden from the rest of the world. Samar assists Sahir in his stage tricks and bank robberies, loves Aaliya and suffers from the same disease that plagues SRK in My Name is Khan and Hrithik Roshan in Koi Mil Gaya.

The second half of the film, although initially promising fails to deliver and epitomizes the feeling of anti-climax. Simply put, too much of the film is a buildup to nothing. Another song is superfluously introduced to drive home the point that Samar is besotted by Aaliya. Although the chemistry between Samar and Aaliya is anything but sizzling, the two do share a scene that qualifies as almost cute and ends in Aamir entering the elite list of men who get to kiss Katrina Kaif's luscious lips on screen.

The technical work is decent and apart from a few aerial shots of Chicago that seem grainy, the CGI ranks fair compared to foreign films (especially The Amazing SpiderMan 2). Nothing of note can be said about the acting. The ending leaves you feeling shortchanged, especially for an Aamir Khan movie. I was certainly disappointed by the platitudinous script and would rank it several notches below its relatively much classier and more exciting predecessor, especially considering the tremendous hype that the movie had generated prior to its release.

But even as I write this, Dhoom 3 continues to smash box office records and is clearly on its way to becoming the all time leading grosser. Moreover, the response it has received from critics and audiences is mostly positive. So this may still be a film that you would want to watch for yourself and decide.

The title song sung by Adita Sen Sharma (and its Arabic version by Lebanese singer Naya who has a striking resemblance to twerker extraordinaire Miley Cyrus) is as hummable as the previous ones and offers some much needed respite as Katrina Kaif gyrates to it at the end of the film.

Overall verdict on the film: Watch it, curse it, forget it.

Get Off The Express And Hit This Cafe Baby

Director: Shoojit Sircar
Writers: Somnath Dey, Shubendu Bhattacharya, Juhi Chaturvedi(dialogues)
Cinematography: Kamaljeet Negi
Editing: Chandrashekhar Prajapati

Starring: John Abraham, Prakash Belawadi, Nargis Fakhri, Rashi Khanna, Siddharth Basu 

Music: Shantanu Moitra

Running time: 130 minutes

Budget: INR 35 crore
Revenues: Hopefully more than Chennai Express


Let it be known up front that I give this movie a rating of 5/5. This, simply put, is world class film-making.

Shoojit Sircar's Madras Cafe is a political espionage thriller set against the backdrop of the Sri Lankan Civil War. It opens with an almost unrecognizable John Abraham, lumbering his way to Church, to confess that he could have prevented the assassination of India's Ex-PM (modelled on Rajiv Gandhi). Narrated by him, the film's first half does a fantastic job of getting the audience familiar with the two warring parties, the Tamil guerilla forces of the LTF, headed by Anna (Ajay Rathnam) and the Sri Lankan government/army comprising the Sinhalese people. Central to the story is India's role in trying to ensure a peaceful end to the strife, in the form of political elections. We find out how Major Vikram Singh (John Abraham) was appointed by the Indian intelligence agency R&AW to head its covert operations in Jaffna (a small island to the north of SriLanka, and the base of the LTF).

Vikram's meeting with his superior, the alcohol guzzling Bala (Kannada actor and director, Prakash Belawadi in a superb supporting act), is where the film turns it on, with Vikram being forced to take shots in the dark, unable to tell who's on his side and who isn't. R&AW, in its attempt to ensure an election, tries multiple strategies to dethrone the idealistic Anna, who rejects the idea of an election, believing that the army would swiftly eliminate his Tamil people, once the Indian authorities pull out. Parallel to this strife, Vikram's meetings* with British Journalist Jaya (a thankfully, solely English-speaking Nargis Fakhri) lead them to a massive conspiracy being hatched by international players and the LTF, complete with traitors cutting backroom deals at Madras Cafe, encrypted messages, and large sums of money to seal the deal.

While the first half focuses on the Sri Lankan civil war, the second half is all about the plot to assassinate the Ex-PM. Although you already know that this story does not have a happy ending, the unnerving pace with which the events unfold grips you till the very end. Saying anything more about the second half would probably ruin some of the magic for you. In the end, the film makes it clear that there are no winners in war, just innocent civilians caught in crossfire.

The cinematic beauty and tenderness with which the scenes depicting war and bloodshed are shot is reminiscent of Blood Diamond. There are absolutely no extra scenes in the entire movie.** It simply moves from one brilliant sequence to the next. Hats off to the phenomenal editing and cinematography for giving us 130 minutes of sheer brilliant story telling and visuals.

The actors all do a fine job, with John Abraham displaying remarkable depth in this role. A few of us noted a subtle South Indian touch to his accent, and kudos to him if it was intentional. Nargis Fakhri, slips into her small yet important role of a determined, wartime journalist (her minimalistic look accentuates her beauty). The unconventional casting of Siddharth Basu (more famous for his TV Quiz shows like KBC) as R&AW chief Robin Dutt works really well. So does Rashi Khanna as Vikram's wife Ruby, as she battles with her fears for her husband's safety.

So, stop wasting time and go catch this ASAP in a theatre near you. The teasers before the movie (Zanjeer and Boss) and during the intermission (Phata Poster Nikla Hero) will go on to reinforce just how amazing and different a film Madras Cafe is.


* Big shout out to the writers for resisting the temptation to let two of the most gorgeous people on the planet engage in a hot and intense one night stand, as they keep the relationship between Vikram and Jaya strictly professional and friendly.

**While some believe the 'blink-and-you-miss-it' love scene between Vikram and Ruby was unnecessary, I thought that it was the most likely thing that would have happened in a similar situation in a normal household. Also, can you blame innocent Ruby for wanting some action, when she rarely ever gets her hunk to herself?

Isspessal chhabbis

After wanting to see it for quite a while, I finally got down to watching Special 26 (that's Chhabbis, and not twenty six for you wannabe firang junta). Directed by Neeraj Pandey (of A Wednesday fame), the movie opens with a CBI interview on March 18, 1987, being conducted by Ajay (aka Ajju) Singh (Akshay Kumar) and P.K Sharma (Anupam Kher). It then proceeds to the first of (a tad too) many flashbacks. Ajju and Sharma, accompanied by Joginder (Rajesh Sharma) and Iqbal (Kishor Kadam), are seen raiding a minister's home under the guise of the CBI. Soon after their departure, it is revealed that this was in fact not a CBI raid and that the minister had been robbed. SI Ranveer Singh (Jimmy Shergill) gets suspended for unwittingly aiding the conmen in looting the minister.

Hey Paaaaaaat! See the silver lining yet? 

Hurt by this rustication, Ranveer proceeds to uncover a series of similar robberies all over the country and realises that the brilliance of these robberies lay in the fact that it was black money and undeclared assets that were stolen in each case, leaving the victim unable to report the crime to the police. He reveals his findings to Waseem Khan (Manoj Bajpai), an officer with the CBI ("asli wali").

The rest of the film then unfolds at a brisk pace and with unexpected style, with Waseem trying to outthink, outsmart and outmaneouvre Ajju's eleven (or rather four in these case). The film culminates in a final act that is inspired by a real-life heist at the Opera House branch of Tribhovandas Bhimji Zaveri in Mumbai, on March 19, 1987.

An Akshay Kumar film with him neither jumping off a building nor laughing his trademark guffaw?! :-O 

All the actors are top notch, with no one overplaying their part or trying to hog the limelight. Also supporting the storyline is a cool background score and some nice dialogues. Completely unnecessary is the entire sidestory involving Ajju's love interest, Priya (Kajal Aggarwal). Her character is of no consequence, looks incredibly plain in a most unattractive manner but yet manages to hog the screen for a few songs. This however shouldn't be a problem thanks to <ctrl + right arrow key>. Mumbai Bombay of the 80s is recreated well with good attention to detail (barring a few poor background CGI shots). Waseem Khan asking his wife(Neetu Singh, in case you want to google her) to cover up and the fake CBI recruitment interviews prompt quite a few lulz.

Despite the fact that the film drags on for maybe twenty minutes too many post climax, this is still easily one of the better Hindi films made this year. A recommended watch, especially now that you have nothing to do but wait till the end of the holidays.

Memorable Dialogues:

1. Ishtud CBI applicant - I want to do...my country!
2. Waseem Khan - Yaha chullu bhar paani kaha milega?
3. Ajju and Sharma - Asli Power dil mein hoti hai
4. Sharma - Humaare time mein TV nahi hua karta tha

Ee toh matlab poora keh ke le li

Bilbo, Snow and Thirteen Dwarves

It's been a while since I've written. College life, exams and other stuff got in the way. However, I got back home and went to see The Hobbit, with absolutely no clue about the storyline other than the fact that it was the prequel to the Lord of the Rings trilogy (which I, like most people on middle Earth really enjoyed). It was only 5 minutes before the movie that I learnt that it was in fact the first in the trilogy that is the prequel to the LotR trilogy.

Set in Middle Earth sixty years before The Lord of the Rings, the movie is about the adventures and journey of the hobbit Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman, amiable as usual). The opening scenes in which Bilbo's home in the shire is hijacked by Gandalf and the thirteen dwarves are pretty comical and set the tone nicely for the rest of the movie. Bilbo is made aware of his duties as the burglar if he chooses to help the dwarves in their quest to reclaim their home, the opulent Lonely Mountain from Smaug, the dragon. Why a dragon would want to spend its entire life surrounded by gold, I cannot comprehend. The flashback also describes how the unwillingness of the Elves to help the Dwarves in their time of desperate need led to years of loathing. And I always thought it was due to the disparity in looks. Although initially wary, Bilbo agrees to help out the dwarves in their adventure.

The movie then goes on to capture all the locales that make New Zealand the prized holiday destination that it is today in stunning 3D. Interspersed in the middle are Bilbo and the dwarves' escapades with mountain trolls and their chance encounter with Radagast the Brown, the oddest of wizards, who tells them about a mysterious presence that's been poisoning everything in its vicinity. This is followed by the return of the orcs. And yes, they look even more gross in 3D. The tragic backstory that's made the leader of the dwarves vow to not rest till he's exacted his revenge on the leader of the orcs is revealed and the movie goes on for another hour with the introduction of the Elves and some other known faces from LotR.

The most enjoyable moments of the movie occur toward the end when Gollum is finally introduced after Bilbo is separated from the dwarves who've been captured by the Goblins. Gollum has once again been beautifully crafted and voiced and his puzzle game with Bilbo makes for some real fun scenes, before Gollum's world falls apart on separation from his precious. Bilbo isn't so bad a burglar after all.

My only problem with the movie is that since most of the characters are seen in LotR, you are always aware that there is no real danger to them (and that all potentially deadly situations will be solved with Gandalf remembering that he's a wizard and chanting some spells). Otherwise, it's a nice movie to catch (especially with younger siblings who will definitely enjoy it more than you will) with some humour, beautiful visuals in 3D and lovable characters.

Keh Ke Le Li!

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts.

And each Wasseypuri, as Ramadhir Singh puts it, chooses to model his life on his favourite Bollywood hero, mouthing his dialogues and sporting his hairstyle.

For those who were shaken by part-1 (the ones with the high morals or weak stomachs), this is definitely a movie to stay away from. For those who were sucked deep into the Wasseypuri Duniya by the magic of Anurag Kashyap and Manoj Bajpai, GoW-2 is one heck of a film!

Shaken out of his reverie by the deaths of his father and older brother, the pot smoking, gun slinging Faizal Khan begins his quest to exact a terrible vengeance against his arch enemy, Ramadhir Singh and his goons- Sultan Khan et al.

One needs to realise that GoW was never meant to be the expeditious Lamborghini that speeds past you in an instant and leaves you gasping. Rather, it is the Rolls Royce that cruises slowly by your side, instilling in you a prolonged feeling of awe. The movie deliberately slows down on more than one occasion as the director indulges in it and draws you into his larger than life vision. A host of new characters get introduced, each with their own backstory, that leads to all their paths getting entangled, with their lives hanging delicately in the balance.

Running parallel to the mischief filled stories of Perpendicular, Tangent(see what I did there) and Definite, is the comical yet heartwarming love story of our hero(Nawazuddin Siddiqui) and his womaniya(Huma Qureshi). While GoW-1 was all about Sardar Khan's laundiyabaaji, the romance in part 2 has quite a few genuinely sweet scenes, especially the ones where Mohsina comforts Faisal with his favourite song. Huma Qureshi entices the audience with unexpected oomph, while Nawazuddin pulls off this aspect of his character with the same nonchalance that he does the rest of this multi-faceted character. The character of Definite is intriguing and Zeishan Quadri does full justice to it.

The soundtrack for this one is simply amazing and Sneha Khanwalkar, I hope, walks home with the awards later this year, for the eclectic collection of songs. The background music too builds up the tension (as easily as it diffuses it at times) and keeps you engaged throughout, building up to a dramatic climax.

The movie is directed brilliantly with the original vision of Anurag Kashyap really showing. Each kill is a spectacle, none more so than the one which happens with an amazing new version of Keh Ke Lunga blaring in the background! Not just the actual process of killing but even the buildup to many is done with great style and humour.

No amount of praise is enough for the brilliant actors of GoW and due credit must be given to the casting director as each actor blends into his/her role with unusual ease. Piyush Mishra's narration is praiseworthy and helps you cling on to every aspect of this wonderful tale. Overall, a bloody good watch and the most original movie to come out of Bollywood in quite some time.

Ab tak nahi dekhi toh jaldi theatre bhaag! Warna Faisal teri keh ke lega! Bhuje?

Cock and tail!

A small note before I begin the actual review. For this post and subsequent ones, I shall be reviewing movies as and when I watch them, and not immediately after their release. That being said, let's get right down to it!

Cocktail. Seldom has a movie been so aptly named. Because beneath all the layers of glitter and gloss, the movie is essentially a tale of cock chasing tail. Saif Ali Khan, for the umpteenth time in his career, plays the ladies' man(Gautam) who manages to charm, talk and guffaw his way into several pants. As always, it's fun watching him in this type of role(though the lines are starting to sound cheesier with every passing year). Deepika Padukone plays Veronica, the 'rich bitch' with the heart of gold, who gets everything she ever could have wanted from her parents but their time. (Am I the only one sensing a pattern here?)
However, as far as I see it, the (only) reason Cocktail will be remembered for will be the debut of the drop dead gorgeous, Diana Penty!

There are plenty of beautiful newcomers in Bollywood today. But there's something about Diana that clings on to a part of you. A model without an accent?! We like!
She enraptures you not just with her looks but also her 'oh-so-sweet' expressions, voice and simple portrayal of the eternally pure Meera. Meera's innocent exchanges with Gautam are sure to bring a smile to your face. Her constant displays of affection toward Veronica and the ensuing 'sacrifices', not quite.
Getting down to the story, Meera who is without a friend in London after getting dumped by her 'husband', is offered a home and comfort by Veronica. Veronica then, embarrasses Gautam in front of a few colleagues to get back at him for earlier having tried to woo Meera at the airport. The same night, she goes on to meet Gautam again at a club and ensues to seduce and 'share a bed' with him.

All three leads go on to then start living together, with Gautam and Veronica sharing a 'no strings attached' equation and Meera merely content to look after her 'bandhus' with fondness. Their world is perfect till the arrival of Gautam's mom(played by Dimple Kapadia), when Gautam introduces to her 'abla naari' Meera as his girlfriend. What follows is a holiday in Cape Town(where the background music unusually bears an uncanny resemblance to the ending score of Vicky Cristina Barcelona), the sexual awakening(well, not exactly...but you'll see what I mean) of Meera and the most predictable elements of every Hindi love triangle ever made.

Though the film does have some genuinely cute and funny scenes, it stretches on for far too long. You can't help but think that you'd have found the film quite enjoyable if it had ended about half an hour earlier, after a scene where the 3 leads sit across a table and supposedly talk things over.

Apart from 'Tumhi Ho Bandhu' and 'Daaru Desi', the music is nauseating with tracks like 'Jugni' being played in the background for I don't know how long.

Watch this if you must, but only for Diana Penty(who I've generously showed you quite a bit of in this review).

The ending we so badly deserved and needed

After having evaded every possible spoiler for over 50 hours, I walked into the theatre extremely eager and wondering what the next 3 hours were going to be like. Nolan just doesn't make bad movies, I told myself. Almost simultaneously, a soft voice in the back of my head whispered something about the law of averages. After the usual deal of trailers and ads, the movie finally began. Eight years since the last spotting of the Dark Knight, Gotham is in a state of peace owing largely to the Dent Act, but Commissioner Gordon knows that it is just a matter of time before this utopia built on a lie falls apart or rather, gets blown to bits.

Right from the spectacular scene in the air that introduces the masked terrorist to the scene where he blows up bridges, sewers and a STADIUM, every scene involving Bane is a dark, destructive spectacle. Though not playing a character as eccentric, crazy and lovable as Heath Ledger's Joker, Tom Hardy manages to bring to life the savage brute who infuses the movie with aggression and physicality of the scale that hasn't been seen in this franchise previously. The Joker wanted anarchy, Bane delivers it in style, smashing and crushing everything in his way, including the Batman's back. The whole of the first half builds up slowly, establishing the characters and storyline along the way, like the quiet before the storm that Selina Kyle so seductively predicts.
And what a beautiful, ravaging storm the second half is.

The inescapable prison and the story of the child who escaped are both beautifully crafted and make way for some great scenes as Bruce Wayne edges towards recovery after being battered to the brink of death and left to rot in the prison by Bane. The culmination is of epic proportions and beautiful in a way that only Nolan can manage.
Anne Hathaway sizzles and spices up the movie with her gorgeous looks, seductive voice, figure hugging costume, tantalizing moves and Robin Hood antics. The scenes involving Selina Kyle and Bruce Wayne do bring a smile to your face with some nice lines and sly humour.

Christian Bale once again essays the role of the caped crusader with ease and very effectively manages to portray the angst of a man whose ageing body betrays his young mind that doesn't want to rest until it eliminates crime from Gotham. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is full of energy and effective as John Blake. As for the role of Marion Cotillard, I'll let you savour it in the movie.
All in all, a beautiful spectacle! That's what the movie truly is. Definitely worth the hype and after all those years, boy did we deserve it!