Velvet, but Far from Soft

Spoiler-free Content

Here's a film that is as refreshingly different from its contemporaries as Bollywood allows one to be. Directed by Anurag Kashyap, Bombay Velvet is the crowning of his artistic vision, his magnum opus, a film that's been in the works for close to a decade and also the one on which he's bet the biggest in terms of scale and budget.

The film's first quarter is probably its worst, but also its most necessary. The plot is driven forward a little too hurriedly and the film falls prey to a couple of Bollywood's favorite tropes -- the immigrant mother who solicits herself to feed her son, and the prodigy who was sexually abused as a child and escapes to the city after ridding herself of her captor only to be taken advantage of again. But these developments, one quickly following another, set the canvas for the rest of the film to then fill out. Rosie's arc in particular informs us on why her character later seems to find little joy in singing. And while many have been quick to blame Anushka Sharma for Rosie's lack of pizzazz on stage, I thought this was deliberate on Anushka's part and definitely not something she failed to pull off. The fact that Rosie is easily and often distracted during her performances reiterates this.

Many have noted Scorsese's seminal works as the film's inspirations, but perhaps a better comparison would be Baz Luhrrman's Gatsby. Both are a commentary on the social classes that money or lack thereof creates, and depict the familiar struggle between old money and new. And both will probably be remembered more for their rich visuals than for their story.

Ranbir Kapoor effectively captures the angst and hunger of a street rat, constantly struggling to rise above what society deems him worthy of. There are decent performances from the rest of the supporting cast as well, but nothing that they're likely to showcase as the highlight of their career. With one exception.

The absolute revelation of Bombay Velvet is Karan Johar. In him, Kashyap finds someone who is not only perfect for the part of the genteel Kaizad Khambatta but is also a blue-blooded Bombay thorough-bred, who understands the city's elite like few others. Be it while commenting on the sartorial choices of Johnny and Rosie or while sneaking out of the room only to let himself giggle freely at Johnny's interpretation of tender, Johar plays his character with glitzy aplomb.

Amit Trivedi's score feels completely right for the film, and sets the tone beautifully throughout. Fifi, another wonderful remix by Mikey McCleary, certainly warrants a few more listens after you've seen the movie. The film's most euphoric moment for me was when Johnny comes out all Tommy guns blazing, with Trivedi's rendition of Whiplash blaring in the background.

All in all, Bombay Velvet is a momentous film for Bollywood. While not as visceral as some of Kashyap's earlier work, Velvet sets a benchmark for period dramas and neat, understated acting. This is definitely not a film that I would ever regret watching in the theater, and one that you should at least watch for yourself before deciding whether you like it or not.

A word of caution

In the off-chance that you're pumped about watching the movie after reading my review, here's a disclaimer -- going into a movie like this expecting to have your mind blown is probably the quickest way to ruin it for yourself.

Even as I write this, Bombay Velvet has been labeled disappointing by fans and critics alike for a reason best explained here - On Bombay Velvet: How internet is killing the movie and the curse of being Anurag Kashyap. I can understand that the film isn't for everyone but an audience that doesn't let cinema like this breathe and reap at least some of what it has sown in terms of expenditures, later has little right to complain about the ennui brought about by Bollywood's usual trite fare.

So, go in with qualified expectations, sit tight as the plot unfurls and then let yourself be wooed by the cinematic experience that the film is. This is certainly not a film to be missed altogether or seen through torrents.

Spoiler-filled observations

• I loved how real Johnny's reaction to Rosie's photo was. The photo was far from scandalous, and I was glad that Johnny too saw it as such. It would have been a letdown if the film's climax hinged on him being outraged by something so clearly vanilla.
• Once it was established that Johnny's skirmishes in the steel cage are to satisfy his masochistic tendencies, Kashyap could have skipped one bout or two, especially since they're all between the same two fighters.
• Why Rosie comes back to attend her pseudo-funeral is beyond me.
• The scene where Khambatta shoots Rosie was gold.
• The intended meta scene was where Glitz refers to Khambatta as a fruitcake. But KJo's presence has a slightly detrimental effect on the denouement of the film as him gasping while Johnny "stabs" him makes it look as though the two are engaging in some coitus, albeit it from the front.
• While the commissioner shooting Johnny in the end and saving Mayor Quizmaster's reputation in the process was probably a natural culmination for the film, I couldn't help but wish for a happier ending. But meh, this is a minor gripe courtesy the romantic in me.

Haider: A second opinion

I shared popcorn with a friend during the second half. I finished it very quickly so I didn't have to hear myself chewing.

Spoiler alert!

Cold and brutally unforgiving, Haider was a very welcome interpretation of Shakespeare's powerful tragedy, Hamlet. The third of his Shakespeare influenced epics; Vishal Bharadwaj once again plunges into deep character play and wonderful storytelling, although the editing and continuity of the movie were surprisingly wanting. Let's break it down, shall we?

The movie was, of course, set in a beautiful scenic place blanketed by crispy white snow and yet, the air was choked with blood and pain. There were a couple of interesting Birdseye shots, rolling over lush green hills and sparkling waters. I really liked the house. Not many houses can seem so charming after they've been blown up. Every scene had a very befitting landscape to support it. 

STORY

Here's why I really loved it. I read condensed version of Hamlet a week or two before the movie, and the thing about Shakespeare is that he makes everything VERY dramatic. Every dialogue is heavy with emotion, every scene ripe with melodrama. Normally, Bollywood would be all over that shit. Heck, if Karan Johar remade a Shakespeare classic, it would be a 6 hour boo-hoo fest. But not this time. VB trimmed the fat. He made the adaptation SO brutally straightforward, so relentlessly brash and tight, that I felt a hot slap to my face. The story is different. The people who I thought would die, did not. The people I hoped would die, did. 

"Feel my rapier scoundrel! Wait, actually, this big rock will do"

The first half was slow, yes, but the second was at cutthroat pace in comparison and we were teetering off the edge of our seats in no time. Based on the length of the film I have a feeling it was meant to be a sort of commentary on Haider’s life after the tragedy. The first half did its best to elucidate Haider’s search for his father and the several places that it carried him to, but there was too much other stuff going on. In this respect, the story wasn’t all too strong, especially since he comes straight home to get his mother to eat.

Another welcome interpretation of the story was Irfan Khan’s character. While the original Hamlet involved the ghost of his late father whispering vengeance into his ear, VB made a supercool cellmate for Haider’s father who becomes the film’s game changer. The only hint of the supernatural is in a short and beautifully rendered dream sequence which was more than sufficient.

 VB:2

 Shakespeare: 0

Bismil was amazing. I’m not a fan of mid-movie Bollywood numbers but this song really tied things together. Very interesting camera angles and the slowly changing expressions on the actors faces were perfect. Kudos to Kaykay Menon in the ending of this scene.

And of course I was pleasantly surprised that “To be or not to be” was successfully converted into a kickass Hindi monologue. Although the “Salman, to go or not to go” line almost made me throw my shoe at the screen. I had a hard time keeping up with the beautifully scripted Hindi, but I definitely noted some very hard hitting dialogues. And of course I was very happy with the graveyard scene. But Shraddha Kapoor's English was NOT funny. It was much better to see Tabu teaching it at her school rather than a really bad post-love-scene monologue. 

"I louu you 4eva"

Hamlet does have some smart political commentary which was missing in Haider, but perhaps I was too distracted by all the blood.

And the ending, oh god, the ending. I was on my feet before the movie was over. So the uncle was supposed to die. NO. Haider decided to go Arya Stark on his ass and leave him bleeding. I applaud VB for this unforgiving tactic that really sealed the deal for me, although I really wish the movie had culminated in an epic dialogue. The movie was full of them! Instead he chose to settle with a cheap and weak fade to black. Speaking of which…

EDITING. Awful. The primary reason why this movie was slow was because there was NO continuity. Scenes started and ended with dialogues that were awkwardly out of place and everything was fading to black! Shoddy work I must say. There was also this tiny shot of the house as it took the first bomb where a really bad CGI corpse was dangling from the roof for just a second. My guess is that it was cut short and retained because it was probably expensive. Either way, it was rather off-putting. The movie deserved much better.

CHARACTERS

Shahid Kapoor wins. His eyes will haunt my dreams for the weeks to come. He’s done an incredible job and his facial hair-madness-face was vital to the character. I would’ve preferred a slow descent into madness rather than an abrupt visit to the barber but the movie was long enough as it is. I especially liked how he continued to polish his dead father’s shoes in the ruins of his home. Very classy.  His dialogues were full of venom and icy hatred. He delivered his lines with perfection and really struck a chord with his brilliant acting.

"How I felt after R...Rajkumar"

Tabu was as elegant and beautiful as always. Her relationship with Haider (creepy) was a looming thought through the length of the movie. She played the perfect doting, motherly infidel and was exceptionally convincing during the Bismil sequence. Although at the end, her suicide, while seemingly abrupt, was sort of welcome. It almost felt like it was just meant to happen. On a side note, the explosion wasn’t nearly as big as it should’ve been.

Kaykay Menon did a great job in making people hate him while still putting in his best sympathy face. I must admit I expected much more from him during the prayer scene when he’s supposed to be repenting for his sins. But his reaction to Bismil was all I needed. The movie may have ended rather badly for him but his final cry of anguish was echoing in my ears for a while. He really went out on a limb. Or two. <pat self on back>

Shraddha Kapoor has a really sexy back. Yeah that’s about it.

The Salman’s, ugh. But there was very little of them so it didn’t entirely throw me off. They actually turned out to be very interesting characters, and to be fair, they died in a very brutal way. I’m sold.

Haider’s dad was pretty good. The man had an air of righteousness about him, and he made a very convincing jailbird poet. There was something about his quest for vengeance that was so noble and true that it almost made his thirst for blood seem permissible.  

Irfan Khan’s cameo was very cool, and as I said before, much more welcome than some ethereal ghost of Haider’s father. Not like he had much to do, but his pronounced limp really added to the charm. Also, what a cool name! “Roohdaar”

I really couldn’t care less about Shraddha Kapoor’s brother. I just waited for him to die. It was like he was never there to begin with.

Small shout out to the supercool graveyard guys and the way they recite that poem before planting a slug in that guy’s head. Damn it VB, you really get me.

So the characters were all great, but I felt they could’ve really used a little more depth. Haider was fine and all but the story would’ve really benefited from a little more on Tabu’s fight with her own guilt and Kaykay Menon’s need for redemption.

All in all, it was a very uplifting movie with beautiful dialogue, exceptional acting and a very good perspective on Shakespearean drama. Welcome back VB; I shall be downloading Kaminey very soon.

4.5/5 for being so awesome  

This Will Make Your Blood Freeze

Disclaimer: I practically know nothing about Hamlet or the actual situation in Kashmir circa 1995. This review contains spoilers.

Seductively dark and refreshingly edgy, Haider will definitely evoke sharp reactions from whoever watches it. The film itself is nuanced in its portrayal of sensitive topics; taking sides and drawing conclusions, it seems, is left to the viewers.

To watch or not to watch? That is the question

The movie opens in 1995 Kashmir with a militant being brought to Dr. Hilal Meer's home for a surgery. Alarmed by who her husband is treating, Ghazala (Tabu) questions his loyalty and in doing so, asks the audience to ponder over whether people should just go about doing their duty without worrying about its consequences. The ingenuous doctor makes his allegiance clear as he responds to her accusation by saying that the only side he is on is that of life. The army/police however believe otherwise, and on being tipped off about the location of the militant, smoke the doctor's home with a bazooka and make the doctor "disappear" for being an accomplice to militants.

Enter Haider (Shahid Kapoor). Distraught at seeing his dilapidated home, Haider goes to seek comfort in his mother (Ghazala) but is shocked to see her in what he deems to be a compromising state with her brother-in-law Khurram (Kay Kay Menon). Haider struggles desperately to find his father but without any reward. In the meantime, both Ghazala and Khurram explain themselves to Haider and assuage him for the moment. Flashbacks offer us insights into Haider's relationship with his parents and raise a few eyebrows vis-a-vis his relationship with his mother. Back in 1995, Haider chastises Ghazala for regularly using emotional blackmail to get him to do what she wanted, pointing back to how she sent him away from Kashmir and consequently from his father. Ghazala's angst, as she is unfairly blamed by her son, is palpable and reminiscent of another famous fictional mother - Carmela Soprano, reflecting on her travails with Meadow.

Hope for Haider arrives in the form of the sibylline Roohdaar (Irrfan Khan) who reaches out with a message from the doctor. Subsequently, two contrasting versions of what happened to Haider's father are laid out. Here, the film is at its strongest, as both Haider and the audience are apprehensive about who to believe - Roohdaar's separatist agenda, and Khurram's love for Ghazala provide sufficient reason to doubt both tales. All doubts are vanquished for Haider however, when Khurram decides to marry Ghazala. For me, the film's quintessential moment of chutzpah was when Khurram, after having slept with Ghazala the previous night, addresses her in the morning as Bhabhijaan.

Elsewhere, "Pruncess" Arshi is almost a seraphic presence in Haider's life as she first saves, then helps and later, calms him.

"You remind me of my mother"

Shraddha Kapoor's beautiful bare back and goofy yet cute dance moves notwithstanding, the song could have easily been replaced with a shorter love scene that conveyed the same message. The film faltered in pace a little here but it promptly got back on track with "Bismil".

Subsequently the film marches along confidently as each character does what they believe they must to protect or avenge their loved ones. The deaths of Arshi and her brother drive home the point that in every conflict, it is invariably innocents who get caught in the crossfire.

• Characters - Everyone in the film is right according to their personal code of ethics, and their enmity arises and is aggravated by the situation that they find themselves in. Haider's mania even raises doubts about whether his hate for Khurram is driven solely by the need to avenge his father, or also by jealousy at seeing him with Ghazala, as the film hints at the Oedipus Complex. Khurram, for all his shortcomings, redeemed himself in my book when he ran towards and not away from Ghazala on realizing she was going to blow herself up. A proverbial doff-of-the-hat or rather, jiggle-of-the-belt is due for the three Salmans for providing some welcome comic relief.
• Acting - Top notch! Tabu probably plays the movie's most nuanced character as she constantly tries to keep her world from falling apart, and she is brilliant in all her scenes. Shahid is outright scary post-interval. His deranged soliloquies make for some of the film's most edgy scenes. Irrfan Khan once again excels in his eccentricities and keeps you wanting more. Kay Kay Menon and Shraddha Kapoor too slipped into their characters with ease. Kudos to Tabu and Shraddha Kapoor for nailing that funny English accent if at all that is how it is (or used to be) spoken in Kashmir.
• Cinematography and Direction - Kashmir provides a hauntingly beautiful backdrop to all the drama and bloodshed that unfolds and stains its pure white snow. A blood-covered boy waking up in the middle of a truck full of corpses and revelling in his freedom after escaping was a surprisingly good scene. The "Bismil" martial arts routine is extremely well-choreographed and steadily builds up the tension with Gulzar's lyrics eloquently dramatizing Haider's account of events. The scenes with the Graveyard Guys give you goosebumps and their version of "Aao na" in the film is every bit as awesome as Vishal Dadlani's version in the trailer.

Haider deserves accolades for steering clear of the temptation to be preachy despite the material providing ample opportunity to do so. Its strongest rhetoric perhaps comes against revenge as the film released on Gandhi Jayanti aptly echoes the aphorism that "an eye for an eye will only make the world go blind."

So just watch it, there is no question.

Logic waalo, Tumhari Aisi ki Taisi

Title - Dhoom: 3
Direction and Screenplay - Vijay Krishna Acharya
Producer and Story - Aditya Chopra
Starring - Abhishek Bachchan ("Dhoom is my film and I am the hero"), Aamir Khan, Katrina Kaif, Uday Chopra, Katrina Kaif, Jackie Shroff, Siddharth Nigam
Music - Pritam
Released on - 20 December 2013

Note: Read this review only if you have contributed to the box office record smashing run that Dhoom 3 is on. Or if you do not care about the story.

The film begins in the year 1990 with Iqbal Khan (Jackie Shroff) welcoming you and the bankers whose loan he is defaulting on, to a special show of the Great Indian Circus - home to a never-before-seen magic trick. This magic trick has in fact had an entire movie dedicated to it previously.

An apathetic Mr. Andersen who helms the Western Bank of Chicago rejects Khan's plea to let his show continue and decides to shut the theatre down due to its insolvency. Crestfallen, Khan shoots himself leaving his son Sahir (debutant kiddo Siddharth Nigam) to fend for himself.

Years later, Sahir (now Aamir Khan) has made it his life's driving purpose to ruin the bank that drove his father to suicide by simply doing their job. Like several of his brothers in the hip-hop industry, Sahir makes money rain from the sky and runs down the bank in ultra slow motion with a strange horny expression on his face. He then proceeds to ride his impeccably engineered and well advertised BMW bike, and evades the cops with ease. Having reached the limits of their ability, the Chicago police authorities decide to ring in Supercop Jay (Abhishek Bachchan) and Sidekick Ali (Uday Chopra).

I'm on fire even if my acting career isn't

The first tinge of real emotion that the movie manages to evoke is courtesy Ali's typically comical entry. The feeling of joy however is evanescent as the movie wastes precious time on the improbable task of trying to make Abhishek Bachchan look cool. Ali's monologue to buy himself some time reeks of dialogues that were probably meant to elicit some applause from the director's contorted perception of the Aam Aadmi. When Jai does finally arrive, he does so in all his overacting splendour and performs comical, gravity defying stunts in full Rohit Shetty ishtyle. These scenes illustrate why some things are best left to Salman Khan, although I must admit that Bachchan Jr looks more at home in an auto rickshaw than on a superbike.

The duo are ushered into Chicago by Police Officer Victoria (Tabrett Bethell) who is completely inconsequential to the plot barring her leading role in Ali's erotic fantasies. Soon after, Aaliya (Katrina Kaif) treats us to a titillating 5 minutes of seductive striptease interspersed with some acrobatic dance moves that helps her land the role of Asian Goddess who can sing and dance like water and fire hot trapeze artist in Sahir's circus.

I'm sexy and I know it

The whole sequence involving Supercop Jai taunting Sahir into robbing again and Sahir posing as an informant who would help Jai find his 'Chupchap Charlie' makes both characters seem incredibly naive. Anyway, Sahir robs the bank successfully and gets shot in the ensuing pursuit but manages to escape with assistance from his BMW superbike/speedboat. The only reason I was able to suspend my disbelief through this scene was due to the fact that I had seen Dubai's wonderbus earlier in the day. The same night, Sahir opens The Great Indian Circus - now revamped and larger than ever before as his highlighted by this song that they spent Rs. 5 crore on.

Immediately after the show, Supercop Jai confronts Sahir backstage in an attempt to expose him as the thief but the lack of any sign of a bullet injury on Sahir lets him off the hook much to the chagrin of Jai who is once again in his overacting prime. It is here that the major plot twist of the film is revealed. The person shot was actually Sahir's identical twin Samar whose existence is a secret hidden from the rest of the world. Samar assists Sahir in his stage tricks and bank robberies, loves Aaliya and suffers from the same disease that plagues SRK in My Name is Khan and Hrithik Roshan in Koi Mil Gaya.

The second half of the film, although initially promising fails to deliver and epitomizes the feeling of anti-climax. Simply put, too much of the film is a buildup to nothing. Another song is superfluously introduced to drive home the point that Samar is besotted by Aaliya. Although the chemistry between Samar and Aaliya is anything but sizzling, the two do share a scene that qualifies as almost cute and ends in Aamir entering the elite list of men who get to kiss Katrina Kaif's luscious lips on screen.

The technical work is decent and apart from a few aerial shots of Chicago that seem grainy, the CGI ranks fair compared to foreign films (especially The Amazing SpiderMan 2). Nothing of note can be said about the acting. The ending leaves you feeling shortchanged, especially for an Aamir Khan movie. I was certainly disappointed by the platitudinous script and would rank it several notches below its relatively much classier and more exciting predecessor, especially considering the tremendous hype that the movie had generated prior to its release.

But even as I write this, Dhoom 3 continues to smash box office records and is clearly on its way to becoming the all time leading grosser. Moreover, the response it has received from critics and audiences is mostly positive. So this may still be a film that you would want to watch for yourself and decide.

The title song sung by Adita Sen Sharma (and its Arabic version by Lebanese singer Naya who has a striking resemblance to twerker extraordinaire Miley Cyrus) is as hummable as the previous ones and offers some much needed respite as Katrina Kaif gyrates to it at the end of the film.

Overall verdict on the film: Watch it, curse it, forget it.

Get Off The Express And Hit This Cafe Baby

Director: Shoojit Sircar
Writers: Somnath Dey, Shubendu Bhattacharya, Juhi Chaturvedi(dialogues)
Cinematography: Kamaljeet Negi
Editing: Chandrashekhar Prajapati

Starring: John Abraham, Prakash Belawadi, Nargis Fakhri, Rashi Khanna, Siddharth Basu 

Music: Shantanu Moitra

Running time: 130 minutes

Budget: INR 35 crore
Revenues: Hopefully more than Chennai Express


Let it be known up front that I give this movie a rating of 5/5. This, simply put, is world class film-making.

Shoojit Sircar's Madras Cafe is a political espionage thriller set against the backdrop of the Sri Lankan Civil War. It opens with an almost unrecognizable John Abraham, lumbering his way to Church, to confess that he could have prevented the assassination of India's Ex-PM (modelled on Rajiv Gandhi). Narrated by him, the film's first half does a fantastic job of getting the audience familiar with the two warring parties, the Tamil guerilla forces of the LTF, headed by Anna (Ajay Rathnam) and the Sri Lankan government/army comprising the Sinhalese people. Central to the story is India's role in trying to ensure a peaceful end to the strife, in the form of political elections. We find out how Major Vikram Singh (John Abraham) was appointed by the Indian intelligence agency R&AW to head its covert operations in Jaffna (a small island to the north of SriLanka, and the base of the LTF).

Vikram's meeting with his superior, the alcohol guzzling Bala (Kannada actor and director, Prakash Belawadi in a superb supporting act), is where the film turns it on, with Vikram being forced to take shots in the dark, unable to tell who's on his side and who isn't. R&AW, in its attempt to ensure an election, tries multiple strategies to dethrone the idealistic Anna, who rejects the idea of an election, believing that the army would swiftly eliminate his Tamil people, once the Indian authorities pull out. Parallel to this strife, Vikram's meetings* with British Journalist Jaya (a thankfully, solely English-speaking Nargis Fakhri) lead them to a massive conspiracy being hatched by international players and the LTF, complete with traitors cutting backroom deals at Madras Cafe, encrypted messages, and large sums of money to seal the deal.

While the first half focuses on the Sri Lankan civil war, the second half is all about the plot to assassinate the Ex-PM. Although you already know that this story does not have a happy ending, the unnerving pace with which the events unfold grips you till the very end. Saying anything more about the second half would probably ruin some of the magic for you. In the end, the film makes it clear that there are no winners in war, just innocent civilians caught in crossfire.

The cinematic beauty and tenderness with which the scenes depicting war and bloodshed are shot is reminiscent of Blood Diamond. There are absolutely no extra scenes in the entire movie.** It simply moves from one brilliant sequence to the next. Hats off to the phenomenal editing and cinematography for giving us 130 minutes of sheer brilliant story telling and visuals.

The actors all do a fine job, with John Abraham displaying remarkable depth in this role. A few of us noted a subtle South Indian touch to his accent, and kudos to him if it was intentional. Nargis Fakhri, slips into her small yet important role of a determined, wartime journalist (her minimalistic look accentuates her beauty). The unconventional casting of Siddharth Basu (more famous for his TV Quiz shows like KBC) as R&AW chief Robin Dutt works really well. So does Rashi Khanna as Vikram's wife Ruby, as she battles with her fears for her husband's safety.

So, stop wasting time and go catch this ASAP in a theatre near you. The teasers before the movie (Zanjeer and Boss) and during the intermission (Phata Poster Nikla Hero) will go on to reinforce just how amazing and different a film Madras Cafe is.


* Big shout out to the writers for resisting the temptation to let two of the most gorgeous people on the planet engage in a hot and intense one night stand, as they keep the relationship between Vikram and Jaya strictly professional and friendly.

**While some believe the 'blink-and-you-miss-it' love scene between Vikram and Ruby was unnecessary, I thought that it was the most likely thing that would have happened in a similar situation in a normal household. Also, can you blame innocent Ruby for wanting some action, when she rarely ever gets her hunk to herself?

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag

Director: Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra

Cast: Farhan Akhtar, Jabtej Singh, Pavan Malhotra, Sonam Kapoor, Divya Dutta

Music: Shankar Ehsaan Loy

Running time: 195 minutes

Rakeysh Mehra reclaims his place behind the camera for the much awaited “Bhaag Milkha Bhaag”. The movie recounts the life of champion Olympic runner Milkha Singh and the events leading up to his final race at a friendly Indo-Pak athletic event while also throwing some light on the Indo-Pak split which was the cause of Milkha’s traumatic childhood . The first thing that stood out about this movie was of course the length. But strangely enough, the 3 and a half hour film did not really feel long until the last 30 minutes or so. The chapters were pacey and just as long as they needed to be. The movie followed a pretty standard storyline with Milkha’s tale being discussed by his coach on a train journey. This would have been pretty bland if not for Mehra’s beautiful visual narrative.

Rakeysh Mehra brought the story to life with the use of warm and atmospheric colour (and a very unexpected cameo). Milkha’s troubled childhood was bathed in a dull, melancholic haze while his days as a lovelorn teenage troublemaker were full of colour. Mehra brought back the ‘Rang de Basanti’ vibe with some attractive black-and-white transitions during the story of the death of his parents. This was coupled with some innovative shots including a sped up tracking shot of the 200m circuit. He summarized Milkha’s victories in a stylish sequence of parallel shots in slow motion; and boy does he LOVE slow-mo. The film was riddled with innumerable slow motion shots and few too many songs (for a ROM flick) which probably gave the film its extra hour. The jolly Punjabi vibe was welcome.

Desi me rollin'

Farhan Akhtar hit the sets after a year of training with a vein popping chiseled body and a commendable performance. Following some very average acting in his previous movies, Farhan showed us a different side to his abilities with some intense bathroom mirror moments and insane running on the track. But he was defeated by the brilliant performances of Jabtej Singh as young Milkha and Divya Dutta as his elder sister. Sonam Kapoor reprised her Delhi 6 role as the ‘chulbuli’ village girl and makes a quick exit (just the way I like it). Pawan Malhotra was charming but Yograj Singh was very disappointing as Milkha’s Olympic coach. Prakash Raj had minimal screen time and a character that did nothing but lighten the mood with an exaggerated Southey accent while speaking Hindi. 

The storyline was quite straightforward and had some very touching moments and well-timed comic relief. The Farhan-Sonam love story was short and bittersweet which really pleased me. However the key message of the film failed to come through. The film intended to focus on how Milkha’s success was a result of his determination, perseverance and hard work but the idea fell apart. In a nutshell, Milkha lost a race because he had an affair with an Australian girl (The gorgeous Rebbecca Breeds) and won all the subsequent races because he said no to the Indian swimming champion. Parts of the movie describe Milkha’s gruelling training and his resolve, but him pulling a tire around a desert till he collapsed from exhaustion was not very provocative. Additionally, the Indian coach telling the Pakistani coach to F*** off after Milkha’s victory was in very poor taste, even if it was muted. Despite these shortcomings, Milkha’s story invited a lot of applause and left us swelling with patriotism as we exited the theatre.

When the screen went blank, I was left with a pleasant warm feeling which faded away as I got into the car. Bhaag Milkha Bhaag gave people a cause to celebrate one of the country’s most respected athletes and is a good candidate for the Independence Day special on Zee TV but did not leave a lasting impression. 

3/5

Quotes: 

Pakistani coach Javed: "Milkha, Yeh tumhare zindagi ki Aakhri daud ho sakta hai"

Milkha Singh: "Aur daudunga vaise hi" 

Isspessal chhabbis

After wanting to see it for quite a while, I finally got down to watching Special 26 (that's Chhabbis, and not twenty six for you wannabe firang junta). Directed by Neeraj Pandey (of A Wednesday fame), the movie opens with a CBI interview on March 18, 1987, being conducted by Ajay (aka Ajju) Singh (Akshay Kumar) and P.K Sharma (Anupam Kher). It then proceeds to the first of (a tad too) many flashbacks. Ajju and Sharma, accompanied by Joginder (Rajesh Sharma) and Iqbal (Kishor Kadam), are seen raiding a minister's home under the guise of the CBI. Soon after their departure, it is revealed that this was in fact not a CBI raid and that the minister had been robbed. SI Ranveer Singh (Jimmy Shergill) gets suspended for unwittingly aiding the conmen in looting the minister.

Hey Paaaaaaat! See the silver lining yet? 

Hurt by this rustication, Ranveer proceeds to uncover a series of similar robberies all over the country and realises that the brilliance of these robberies lay in the fact that it was black money and undeclared assets that were stolen in each case, leaving the victim unable to report the crime to the police. He reveals his findings to Waseem Khan (Manoj Bajpai), an officer with the CBI ("asli wali").

The rest of the film then unfolds at a brisk pace and with unexpected style, with Waseem trying to outthink, outsmart and outmaneouvre Ajju's eleven (or rather four in these case). The film culminates in a final act that is inspired by a real-life heist at the Opera House branch of Tribhovandas Bhimji Zaveri in Mumbai, on March 19, 1987.

An Akshay Kumar film with him neither jumping off a building nor laughing his trademark guffaw?! :-O 

All the actors are top notch, with no one overplaying their part or trying to hog the limelight. Also supporting the storyline is a cool background score and some nice dialogues. Completely unnecessary is the entire sidestory involving Ajju's love interest, Priya (Kajal Aggarwal). Her character is of no consequence, looks incredibly plain in a most unattractive manner but yet manages to hog the screen for a few songs. This however shouldn't be a problem thanks to <ctrl + right arrow key>. Mumbai Bombay of the 80s is recreated well with good attention to detail (barring a few poor background CGI shots). Waseem Khan asking his wife(Neetu Singh, in case you want to google her) to cover up and the fake CBI recruitment interviews prompt quite a few lulz.

Despite the fact that the film drags on for maybe twenty minutes too many post climax, this is still easily one of the better Hindi films made this year. A recommended watch, especially now that you have nothing to do but wait till the end of the holidays.

Memorable Dialogues:

1. Ishtud CBI applicant - I want to do...my country!
2. Waseem Khan - Yaha chullu bhar paani kaha milega?
3. Ajju and Sharma - Asli Power dil mein hoti hai
4. Sharma - Humaare time mein TV nahi hua karta tha

Ee toh matlab poora keh ke le li

Keh Ke Le Li!

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts.

And each Wasseypuri, as Ramadhir Singh puts it, chooses to model his life on his favourite Bollywood hero, mouthing his dialogues and sporting his hairstyle.

For those who were shaken by part-1 (the ones with the high morals or weak stomachs), this is definitely a movie to stay away from. For those who were sucked deep into the Wasseypuri Duniya by the magic of Anurag Kashyap and Manoj Bajpai, GoW-2 is one heck of a film!

Shaken out of his reverie by the deaths of his father and older brother, the pot smoking, gun slinging Faizal Khan begins his quest to exact a terrible vengeance against his arch enemy, Ramadhir Singh and his goons- Sultan Khan et al.

One needs to realise that GoW was never meant to be the expeditious Lamborghini that speeds past you in an instant and leaves you gasping. Rather, it is the Rolls Royce that cruises slowly by your side, instilling in you a prolonged feeling of awe. The movie deliberately slows down on more than one occasion as the director indulges in it and draws you into his larger than life vision. A host of new characters get introduced, each with their own backstory, that leads to all their paths getting entangled, with their lives hanging delicately in the balance.

Running parallel to the mischief filled stories of Perpendicular, Tangent(see what I did there) and Definite, is the comical yet heartwarming love story of our hero(Nawazuddin Siddiqui) and his womaniya(Huma Qureshi). While GoW-1 was all about Sardar Khan's laundiyabaaji, the romance in part 2 has quite a few genuinely sweet scenes, especially the ones where Mohsina comforts Faisal with his favourite song. Huma Qureshi entices the audience with unexpected oomph, while Nawazuddin pulls off this aspect of his character with the same nonchalance that he does the rest of this multi-faceted character. The character of Definite is intriguing and Zeishan Quadri does full justice to it.

The soundtrack for this one is simply amazing and Sneha Khanwalkar, I hope, walks home with the awards later this year, for the eclectic collection of songs. The background music too builds up the tension (as easily as it diffuses it at times) and keeps you engaged throughout, building up to a dramatic climax.

The movie is directed brilliantly with the original vision of Anurag Kashyap really showing. Each kill is a spectacle, none more so than the one which happens with an amazing new version of Keh Ke Lunga blaring in the background! Not just the actual process of killing but even the buildup to many is done with great style and humour.

No amount of praise is enough for the brilliant actors of GoW and due credit must be given to the casting director as each actor blends into his/her role with unusual ease. Piyush Mishra's narration is praiseworthy and helps you cling on to every aspect of this wonderful tale. Overall, a bloody good watch and the most original movie to come out of Bollywood in quite some time.

Ab tak nahi dekhi toh jaldi theatre bhaag! Warna Faisal teri keh ke lega! Bhuje?

Cock and tail!

A small note before I begin the actual review. For this post and subsequent ones, I shall be reviewing movies as and when I watch them, and not immediately after their release. That being said, let's get right down to it!

Cocktail. Seldom has a movie been so aptly named. Because beneath all the layers of glitter and gloss, the movie is essentially a tale of cock chasing tail. Saif Ali Khan, for the umpteenth time in his career, plays the ladies' man(Gautam) who manages to charm, talk and guffaw his way into several pants. As always, it's fun watching him in this type of role(though the lines are starting to sound cheesier with every passing year). Deepika Padukone plays Veronica, the 'rich bitch' with the heart of gold, who gets everything she ever could have wanted from her parents but their time. (Am I the only one sensing a pattern here?)
However, as far as I see it, the (only) reason Cocktail will be remembered for will be the debut of the drop dead gorgeous, Diana Penty!

There are plenty of beautiful newcomers in Bollywood today. But there's something about Diana that clings on to a part of you. A model without an accent?! We like!
She enraptures you not just with her looks but also her 'oh-so-sweet' expressions, voice and simple portrayal of the eternally pure Meera. Meera's innocent exchanges with Gautam are sure to bring a smile to your face. Her constant displays of affection toward Veronica and the ensuing 'sacrifices', not quite.
Getting down to the story, Meera who is without a friend in London after getting dumped by her 'husband', is offered a home and comfort by Veronica. Veronica then, embarrasses Gautam in front of a few colleagues to get back at him for earlier having tried to woo Meera at the airport. The same night, she goes on to meet Gautam again at a club and ensues to seduce and 'share a bed' with him.

All three leads go on to then start living together, with Gautam and Veronica sharing a 'no strings attached' equation and Meera merely content to look after her 'bandhus' with fondness. Their world is perfect till the arrival of Gautam's mom(played by Dimple Kapadia), when Gautam introduces to her 'abla naari' Meera as his girlfriend. What follows is a holiday in Cape Town(where the background music unusually bears an uncanny resemblance to the ending score of Vicky Cristina Barcelona), the sexual awakening(well, not exactly...but you'll see what I mean) of Meera and the most predictable elements of every Hindi love triangle ever made.

Though the film does have some genuinely cute and funny scenes, it stretches on for far too long. You can't help but think that you'd have found the film quite enjoyable if it had ended about half an hour earlier, after a scene where the 3 leads sit across a table and supposedly talk things over.

Apart from 'Tumhi Ho Bandhu' and 'Daaru Desi', the music is nauseating with tracks like 'Jugni' being played in the background for I don't know how long.

Watch this if you must, but only for Diana Penty(who I've generously showed you quite a bit of in this review).